Topic: The Unexpected and Spiritual Awakenings (Chapter 3 of Having Had a Spiritual Awakening)
Lesson One - I was Half-Asleep (pg. 54) December 15, 2013
When I came to Al-Anon I knew that a God existed, but my feelings about God were mixed and confused. I was reared in a home with two religions. In Al-Anon they mentioned a God of my understanding or a Higher Power. It took me awhile to comprehend what the group was trying to tell me: that I have the freedom to make the choice of believing in a personal God.
One morning in the shower, I realized for the first time that a Higher Power was answering my prayers. The solutions came to mind and I felt comfortable with the message I was receiving. When this happened more than once, I realized that this was the only time my mind was not full of negative thinking about things happening in my daily life.
The period between five and seven years in the program was very difficult for me. I wanted to continue doing my will. My Higher Power gave me this freedom to continue suffering. I was not grateful. There was sobriety in our home, but I was not happy.
During this time I became ill and was admitted into the hospital. That’s when I surrendered. While half-asleep and dreaming, I could feel a nurse trying to give me the early-morning medication. In my dream my spouse and my four adult children were in a car parked outside. I saw fire all around them and there was nowhere to move. The fire engulfed them. Afterwards, I saw everything really green and clean and my adult children were babies again, running around and playing. The message I interpreted at the time was that my HP was giving me a chance at a new beginning with my family and that I needed to be grateful for my health, One Day at a Time.
I’m fifty-two years old, and I feel better than when I was thirty-eight. Al-Anon has given me my life back and for that I’m truly grateful.
My personal God has no figure; it’s just something greater than I am that can do for me what I can’t do for myself and for the people close to me whom I love. I try to do Step Three daily and not always the first thing in the morning. There are times I need to do it several times during the day, to make a decision to turn my will and my life over to my HP to guide thoughts and let them guide my actions.
Step Eleven is for me like, One Day at a Time. Working on me today to feel good with what I do and say is going to make me feel good about my past, because today will be my past tomorrow.
~ United States
“Have dreams provided me with spiritual guidance?”
Taken from Al-Anon Family Groups Conference Approved Literature, "Having Had a Spiritual Awakening..."
Copyright 1998
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I can Overcome all things through my HP who strengthens me.
