One of the most valuable skills I've learned in Al-Anon is to discern acceptable behavior and to set limits with others. Setting boundaries helps me take care of myself in relationships and keeps me from being a victim. Responses to boundaries help me evealuate the quality of my relationships. Nevertheless, I still feel some trepidation when I set limits. I fear that the other person may become angry and end the relationship. I experiened different forms of abandonment during my alcohoholic upbringing, and it's not a feeling I relish re-experiencing. Sometimes dread prevents me from setting limits. OTher times I state my boundaries in overly rigid terms, hoping I'll never have to deal with the problem again. My best success comes when I set my limits One Day at a Time.
Thought for the day: Boundaries don't help me when they're too loose or too rigid. If I set them flexibly- one instance at a time- they can help improve my relationships.
"Al-Anon taught me the difference between walls and boundaries" Courage to Change, p. 201
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I can Overcome all things through my HP who strengthens me.
